Your Mercedes is Ready

I have a wonderful insurance company and I was able to drop off my car for repairs the day after my accident.  I was offered a rental car too which I gladly accepted as I have a kid, a full time job and a life.  I arrived at the rental car company to pick up my new ride and was handed the keys to a beautiful new 2010 Mercedes 300.  At first I declined it.  I drive a 2005 Nissan Altima and I could already feel the disappointment this Mercedes would cause me, not to mention the envy my poor Altima would feel.  Yet, after some coaxing I grabbed the Mercedes keys and took off to explore the wonders of my new vehicle.  You know you live in Boca when your rental car is a Mercedes.

Cruiser verses Backer

In Boca, there is no such thing as a stand alone grocery store.  All retail stores are located in neatly packaged "shopping plazas".  However, good luck finding these "shopping plazas" on your own as they are only advertised by small obscure signage far from the road and buildings are safely hidden behind lush tropical landscaping.  However, as neatly packaged as these "shopping plazas" are, they all have incredibly disorganized parking lots.  The parking lots are not the only problem.  The people of Boca have a very different set of road rules than the rest of the world.  In Boca, the proper thing to do if you are cruising through a parking lot, looking for the closest spot possible (and we wonder why there is obesity in America) is to quickly speed up if you see a fellow driver backing out of a parking space.  This is not done with the intention of taking the newly freed parking space once the backer has removed his vehicle from the prized spot but rather so the cruiser is not caused any delay in waiting for the backer to back.  The cruiser can than speed past the backer and continue to hunt for a proper parking space.  Make sense, right?  Well, it does around here.  In fact, if the poor cruiser were to end up hitting the backer in his haste, the backer would promptly be ticketed for causing such a public nuisance.  How dare he back out of that parking space while I'm trying to drive through this parking lot!

The point of this story is that I always imagined my parking lot accident, as is customary in Boca, to be a scenario similar to this.  Yet, I somehow managed to back out of my parking space and it was no easy feat I promise you.  I was even able to clear the entire parking lot and made it to the last stop sign at the exit of the "shopping plaza" when...KABOOM...we were rear ended.  It turned into a hit and run...literally.  The driver moved his car to a parking spot, got out of his car and simply walked away.  He never came back.  Meanwhile, I had a broken bumper and a trunk full of groceries in a town where everyone rubbernecks and no one stops to help.

Urban Dictionary: Boca Bitch

1. In reference to the Florida city of Boca Raton, a Boca Bitch is someone (usually female) who has a large collection of designer bags, is obscenely rich, and usually has bottle-blonde, overly straightened hair, an orange "tan", and walks with the saunter that only someone from the strange city of Boca can have. Is snooty and looks down upon everyone who has less money or is less popular than she. This term is usually used by the rocker, punk, nerd, or other types of people who are stuck in Boca when they see one of these strange airheads. 
God, did you see her? She looks like SUCH a Boca bitch!

2. A proud Boca Raton woman who is smart, beautiful, independent, strong willed, sophisticated, but with a little bit of edge and a whole lot of opinions about…well, just about everything. She is a woman who knows what she likes, knows what she wants, and knows how to get it. Above all she is a woman who knows how to appreciate and laugh at life. She must especially be able to laugh at herself once in a while! A common misconception is that she is rude, obnoxious and just a bitch. Make no mistake there is a great difference between a Boca Bitch and just a plain bitch!

See that woman over there, she looks so "put together", she looks like a real Boca Bitch!